The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
