so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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