if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You are the jesus of drinking
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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