I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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