I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
