dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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