people are starting to question the shark bite story
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
