overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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