He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
