I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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