I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
