It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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