how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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