Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize