at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
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Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
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I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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