hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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