Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
