You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
