I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
