you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
