Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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