No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
At least life still wants to fuck me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
