And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
