He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
