if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
