hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
