The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
