wanna go halves on a baby?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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