South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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