What tipped you off? The sombrero?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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