i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
