I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Mom said you looked used
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
