Capitaan dildo arrescate!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
