never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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