ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
