phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
