Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize