omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
