One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Holy shit dude........stairs
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
