'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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