Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
