gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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