Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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