stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
