No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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