I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize