i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
