I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
