bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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