the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like