I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost