yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
