hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
