Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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