My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
party gras won. party gras always wins.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
