he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
