hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
