Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
