I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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