My nipple is on Facebook.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
