I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
NoShamevember. You game?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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