Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
