his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
