how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
