its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
