Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
